Writing can be painful: Return of the Mac   Leave a comment

I’m just returning from the infamous Adam’s Morgan. That’s a section of DC that has a collection of shops, clubs and bars where people find themselves on the weekend spending time doing crazy things with each other in dark corners. My friend and I argue about the “fat girl theory” for a while, as most places we go, we notice that ‘bigger’ women are more apt to dance in the middle of the floor, and they usually shadow their cute friends. This phenomenon isn’t always 100% dead on… but its pretty close.

I came back home and fiddled with facebook for a while and something has bummed me out slightly. My latest project, which I think i’ll name “3 weeks and a hurricane” talks about a search I have for finding out my purpose in life during a one month stay in Jamaica. During this stay a lot of things happen, including a hurricane hitting the Island. A large portion of the story has to do with my ex-girlfriend, and how our relationship died based on some very strange cirucmstances. Through the facebook grapevine, I just found out she’s actually in the states. (she was in Europe for a while doing school). While writing that project I faced a few obstacles. Its not always easy to write about real time painful things as they happen. There were a few times I sat in front of my sister’s laptop for up to thirty minutes unable to type anything. Pain is something that pokes you in your gut and grabs on for dear life. Whatever the cause, it can cloud your vision and make everything seem more dull, like the buzz a person gets after too much drinking. So, I’ve had a good night so far, but now I find out my ex-girlfriend is back in the country and she’s saying lots of friendly hellos to people who she doesn’t know that well, and clearly, she isn’t going to even think of calling/e-mailing me. I’m somewhat hurt by this, but I was more surprised than anything. I thought she’d be returning to the states closer to the middle of September, but i was wrong. Maybe writing a book that involves mostly her and my life will be therapy enough to deal with losing face in the eye of love. Who knows? Its not that bad. When I was in Jamaica, there were a few days that were so challenging, I felt as if I wanted to cry. For anyone that knows me, the though of me crying is almost like seeing the pope doing the “tek way yuself” dance in a Jamaican dancehall somewhere.

But I already reasoned that I won’t feel sorry for myself in this situation. All I can do (like most people do) is move on. All a person can really do is try their best to make the most of a situation. It takes two people to resolve something. If one person isn’t willing to… then its a waste of both people’s time. I know I feel bad occassionally because I truly loved my ex-girlfriend, but sadly i’m learning what it means to fall out of love with someone as well. Either way, tommorrow is another day. I might do some writing, and go to a mixer they are having for all the returning students. Its called “Temptation Island”… a fitting title. I hope my ex, wherever she is, is having fun and enjoying life. Sad as it is, when you love someone, all you really want is their happiness (after a while), even if it makes you feel a bit awkward, you are comfortable in knowing that your presence isn’t affecting them negatively.

Coincidentally, two friends and I spent the day going all over the city (particularly Georgetown) to go to some “naked protest” one of them heard about on a Radio show. He made it sound more like a naked party [insert image of really hot politically passionate chicks here] and I raised eyebrows at the whole thing. Firstly, the protest started at twelve in the afternoon, and I doubted any significantly hot chick would bare it all for this protest.

Either way, the coincidence lies in heading to the waterfront. That’s an area that has a view of the Potomac river. We walked over there before watching the new movie “Superbad” which was very funny. I sat on the docks and there was a nice, warm breeze blowing. In my mind, I remembered the first time I went Kayaking, and it was with my ex, on the Potomac. Its one of my happiest memories, and its funny how I just remembered that now… sitting here and being a bit surprised that she’s in the states and I didn’t know. Such is life eh?

by the way… nothing is a coincidence. Till I blog again… love safely.

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Posted August 27, 2007 by marcusbird in Uncategorized

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